Tales of Bearia
by JokerCarnage5
Summary: A collection of short stories about Daria & Beavis. Bearia (Beavis x Daria).
1. Disturbia

**Disturbia **

**This is a short story about Daria's & Beavis and how these two completely different individuals could find the most primal of life's pleasures in each other's company…but mostly just fluff.**

**Warning: Not for the faint of heart.**

_Huh, what a fucking day_ Daria thought to herself as she walked home from school. The morning had been unbearable. Her mother was stressed over a new client and her dad was frustrated that she didn't have time to listen to his problems and somehow her sister had been allowed to have a sleepover in the middle of the week so the house was filled with annoying brain-dead bimbos when she tried to have breakfast. School wasn't any better. Van Driessen was sick so Coach Buzzcut had taken over all the lessons. His laud aggressive voice still hurt her ears. Her backpack was burdened by all the extra homework he had given her. The assignments themselves didn't bother her, she already knew most of what she needed to learn and the rest would be pretty easy for her. She just wished she actually had some motivation for it. The only good thing about today was that Beavis & Butt-head hadn't been in school to bother her.

It was late spring and it was really warm outside so Daria decided to take a longer route home. There was no hurry to get home she thought to herself. The route went along the motor way. She would be able to circle around half the town this way and then head home. Her eyes suddenly cached another figure standing on the side of the road. It was Beavis. As much as they annoyed her Daria didn't dislike Beavis or Butt-head, they were the closest companions she had in this little redneck town. She continued forward hoping that teasing Beavis would somehow brighten her day.

Beavis meet her gaze when she came up to him.

"Hey, how is it going?" he greeted her.

"Like hell" Daria responded. She started to look around to find Butt-head (if Beavis was here Butt-head must be close by).

"Where's Butt-head?" she asked when she couldn't see him.

"He is not here" Beavis answered.

"Why? Did someone finally shot him" Daria responded.

"That would be cool" Beavis giggled. "But no, sometimes I just like being alone you know".

"Really? Cause usually you two are so tight I could swear you were married" Daria said, somewhat surprised to hear Beavis need for privacy.

The two just stared at each other with blank expressions trying to find something to say. Daria started to believe neither had anything else to say.

"See you later" she said before starting to walk past him.

Beavis grabbed her arm, making her stop. "Wait a minute Daria, I found something cool, something really cool. I want you to see it". Beavis sounded exited.

Daria raised an eyebrow at him. She figured it wouldn't hurt to comply. "What do you wanna show me?"

"Come here I'll show you" Beavis excitedly said and started to walk over the grassy field that was next to the road and Daria followed. Beavis led her to a down slope with a water marsh further down.

Beavis run out into the marsh giggling. Daria sighed before taking of her shoes and stepped into the water. It was tepid but in comparison with the warm air Daria thought it was rather cooling.

"Here it is" Beavis stated.

He pulled aside some water plants to reveal the rotten corpse of a cheap. It must have laid there for weeks. The skin was bare, the eyes were picked out and it had a deep gash in the abdomen. Daria could feel her stomach twisting; she could barely keep herself from vomiting.

Beavis took up a long stick from the water. He stuck it in the cheep's eye socket too lift its head up a bit.

"Pretty cool huh?" Beavis asked but Daria didn't answer.

He took out the stick and handed it to Daria. "Okay, your turn".

"Said the butcher to the lamb" Daria retorted. "I won't touch that cheep Beavis, with or without a stick".

"I thought you liked this kind of stuff?" Beavis said confused.

Daria raised an eyebrow at the stupid blond."Beavis what on earth would make you think I would like a rotting carcass?" She asked him in a monotone voice.

"Well you are always talking about serial killers and ways the government tortures peoples and that kind of stuff in school so why wouldn't you like to see something dead".

Daria just stared at him. He was right; she did always present herself as the creepy cynical loner. She liked that, she felt comfortable with it. If she really was that person poking a dead animal with a stick wouldn't be so hard. She sighed and grabbed the stick.

Beavis got something else on his mind and walked a few feet away and tried to light another water plant with his lighter. Of course it didn't, it was too wet.

Daria looked at the dead animal in disgust. She asked herself why she did this. She looked over at Beavis. She had nothing to prove to anyone, least of al him but maybe she needed to prove it to herself.

She poked its skin with the stick, it dented in. She took another deep breath and stuck the stick into the stomach wound. Some kind of xanthic body fluid poured out into the water like a scab. She could not stop herself anymore. She threw up several times and then run out of the water and up the slop. She fell to her knees and started sobbing. She had lost, lost to herself. She wasn't the person she had always pretended to be. She sat down and started crying into her palms. For so many years she had talked herself up. In school she made detailed reports about Jeffrey Dahmer and compared the president to historical dictators because she liked the looks it gave her. Her teachers & students looked at her as if she was different. She liked that, the power to shock, the power to impact her fellow humans. It made her feel strong, dominant even but now the truth was clear to her, that wasn't the real her.

Beavis continued to try to put fire on the plant but instead it just turned dark and smoked. Beavis loved the sight thou. He heard a small splash beside him and turned to see what it was. It was a green frog with the legs of another frog sticking out of its mouth, a cannibal.

"Wow, Butt-head check this out" Beavis said turning around, expecting his friend to be there.

"O, right" he spoke when he realized he wasn't with him. As much as Butt-head annoyed him he still liked him but he also but great value on his times alone (or the time he spent with others). Beavis mind was more like that of an animal, in an hour or so his social instincts would kick in and he would search up his old companion.

He leaned in for the frog with his hands reached out. He jumped after it but the frog jumped out of the way. Beavis stood up and saw the frog again and once again he felt the need to grab it. He jumped after it again & once again it jumped away.

When Beavis raised himself he saw Daria sitting on the hill.

Beavis walked up to her. He gave a puzzled expression when he saw that she was crying.

"So how is it going?" he asked like he had just met her.

"Go away Beavis" Daria sighed.

Beavis casually sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Daria raised an eyebrow at the blond teen. "Um Beavis what are doing".

"My. Mom. Told me. That. You should never. Um, leave a crying girl. Alone" Beavis said in a stilted tone. "So I won't"

Daria started thinking on Beavis motives for suddenly being so considerate. Her analytical mind came up with two explanations. Ether he tried to hit on her or this was really something his mom had told him and his poor memory struggled to remember the words.

Beavis laid his chin over Daria's shoulder, slowly stroking her cheek with his nose. Daria didn't mind it. The air was so warm and his skin was cold from the water. It felt nice.

"Can you tell me what the matter is"? Beavis asked.

Daria thought if she really should confined her feelings to Bevis. Despite being a lone wolf Daria knew that talking about once problems could be relieving. Beavis would at least not judge her, he wasn't smart enough for that.

"Sigh, well I guess that you exposed me Beavis. I have always represented myself as a weird-case but the truth is that I only talk big to get some sort of obscure attention.

As she talked Beavis touched the side of her face & neck with his nose, it wasn't exactly stroking it was more like pecking. Daria found the touching relaxing.

"So" Beavis asked but he didn't stop.

"Don't you think it makes me a fraud"?

Beavis stopped his pecking, he looked a bit angry. "Damn it Daria, you think too much" he exclaimed.

Daria lay down in the grass. "You mean as oppose to you that don't think at all"? She said in monotone voice.

"That's pretty funny" Beavis giggled, he found Daria's comment funny.

He to laid down and slowly pushed his arm under Daria's head. Daria gave him a warm smile as thanks.

"Sigh, maybe you are right thou" Daria said.

"Really, wow" Beavis said surprised.

"Yah, Wow" Daria responded sarcastically. "I might be thinking too much on why & how I act. Maybe I should just **act. **Do what I want you know".

"Yeah, life is too short for thinking" Beavis said happily.

"Beavis, histories dumbest philosopher" Daria commented.

He noticed that a part of Daria's shirt was curled up, revealing a bit of her stomach. He put his free hand on it and stroke with his fingers. Daria seemed to like it, she smiled slightly. He then slowly took out his arm from under Daria's head and moved down a bit. He curled up more of her shirt, revealing her belly. He started stroking his face against it, he also moved to the other side of her to do the same. Daria let him because it felt so nice. Shocking people with her attitude, wrapping idiots around her fingertips made her feel strong but this fulfilled another desire of hers. It was alleviating,

Beavis became more and more exited. He wanted to touch every bit of her. He started placing small kisses on her belly. He curled up the shirt some more, exposing Daria's black bra. Daria grasped the edge of her shirt and pulled it back.

"Hey what gives?" Beavis half shouted.

Daria shot an intensive angry glare at him and Beavis understood instinctively that he was doing something wrong. Daria could be downright scary sometimes. He went back to kiss her stomach, somewhat aggravated he couldn't touch her hooters (for whatever reason). He decided that if he couldn't get her boobs he would have the next best thing, her face. He risen himself a bit and hovered his head above hers. Daria's face was nothing like the thin chicks he had seen on TV. Her cheeks were perky and her glasses adornment her features. Her face almost seemed younger than the rest of her body. Her eyes were closed but Beavis had stared at them so many times he knew them like the palm of his hand. They were dark and had something he couldn't see in anyone else. What it was he did not know but he knew it captivated him like a burning building. He leaned in closer and kissed her on the lips. Daria opened her eyes and slightly pushed Beavis away.

"Um Beavis, what are we doing"? She questioned. The entire experience had felt so pleasurable & natural that she hadn't even been thinking on what was actually happening.

"Um, making out I think" Beavis responded.

Daria blushed and stood up, practically pushing Beavis of her. "I need to go home now before my parents get's cranky" she lied. She just wanted to get away from Beavis before anything else happened.

She reached the top of the hill when Beavis caught up with her.

"Wait Daria! Did you um, did you like it"? Beavis asked with his usual dull look.

Daria turned to him but she looked at the ground. At first she wanted to lie but for some reason she felt like she could be honest with him.

"Yes, yes I did" she answered.

"You want to do it again? Cause I certainly want too" Beavis asked.

"Um, maybe, I don't know" Daria said. "Sigh, I got to go now".

Daria started walking over the grass field, leaving Beavis were he stood. She asked herself what the hell had happened back there. Why had she let him touch her and kiss her? Had some sort of sexual instincts taken over or had she been trapped in some sort of trance, it had certainly not been a conscious decision on her part to let him do it… or was it? She definitely had had some control over it like when she stopped him from seeing her boobs. Did that mean that she wanted him? He was certainly cute but he was so stupid and annoying. She couldn't be infatuated with him, right?

She was halfway to the road when she heard Beavis shout. "DARIA, YOU ARE THE COOLEST GIRL I KNOW!"

Daria stopped dead in hear tracks. She blushed and a warm smile grew across her face.

The End!

**Author's Note:**

**This had been the first of a series of unrelated BeavisXDaria one-shots for the fanfic "Tales of Bearia". I hope you enjoyed it.**

**All kinds of comments/reviews are greatly appreciated. **


	2. Freak the Parents

**Summary: Daria asks Beavis to eat dinner with her and her family in order to scare them but maybe there's more to the pyromaniac that she thinks.**

Daria walked down the stairs early in the morning. She was greeted by her sister Quinn.

"Your creepy stalker left you another present at the door again" Quinn snapped at her before walking into the kitchen.

Daria looked weary and not just because it was early in the morning. For the last couple of weeks someone had left dead animals on the doormat with heart shapes carved into them. Nobody know who did it or why. Her mother Helen found it disturbing and had called the cops on it but they hadn't taken it seriously. Daria sort of liked it. It was always fun to see adults flipping out over trifles. Still, some psycho was leaving carcasses at the house and that scared her. She didn't know who they were meant for but someone with severe mental problems was around.

Daria opened the door and true enough there was a dead opossum on the doormat. She lifted it up by the tail and saw the heart shaped wound on the opossum's thigh. As creepy as it was Daria thought it was kind of cool. She threw the body into the bushes that grew around the house before walking in again.

An hour later Daria was on her way to school. Her sister had taken another route, not wanting to be seen with her "distant cousin". Halfway to school Daria saw Beavis & Butt-head standing on the side of the row.

She could hear Butt-head say "Come on Beavis, tell her".

Beavis went to meet Daria. "Hey Daria, how's it going" he giggled.

"Beavis, so you have finally stopped using my surname" Daria said sarcastically.

"What surname? Right, diarrhea" Beavis giggled when he understood what Daria meant.

Daria sighed. "Listen, I would love to have an intellectual debate with you Beavis but unlike you I have an academic future to think of." She retorted and went past him.

Beavis quickly run up and cut her off. Daria gave him an annoyed look.

"Did you like my gift today?" Beavis asked.

"Daria raised an eyebrow half knowing what he meant. "What gift"?

"The rat, I carved the heart myself".

"You are the one that's left all does those animals at my doorstep"! Daria face palmed. "Of course it is, you are the only one sick enough to do something like that".

"Um, no he isn't. There's plenty of sickos in this town" Butt-head commented but Daria took little notice off him.

"So Beavis, why did you do it"? Daria asked with a hint of malice.

"Because I like you" Beavis proclaimed, sounding like some nickelodeon cartoon.

"Like me?" Daria raised an eyebrow. If this was any other guy she would just blow him of but Beavis was a tricky guy to deal with. She must choose her words carefully.

"I mean I really like you. Do you um, do you want to go on a date"?

Beavis words filled her with relief. Leaving dead animals at someone's doorstep was something only a maniac would do but now that she knew it was Beavis it wasn't quite as creepy. He was a maniac but he was a harmless one. She was about to tell him no on his offer when she hesitated. She rubbed her chin while thinking and gave a wicked smirk. If she really went on a date with him she could seriously freak out her parent and annoy her sister. The downside was of course that she had to spend time with the idiot. Still, this was too good an opportunity to squander.

"Okay, you will have dinner with me and my family tomorrow at 5 o clock but only on two conditions" Daria proclaimed and sternly pointed her index finger at the blond.

Beavis looked surprised. "Um, okay. What?"

"First, you will not speak to me for the rest of the day. Second, you will leave Butt-head and your lighter at home, I have stuff at home I don't want you to burn up". Daria said dominantly with her arms crossed, making sure she was the one calling the shots.

"Sure" Beavis happily proclaimed.

Daria released her arms. "So it's a date then" she said in a gentler tone.

"I guess so" Beavis responded.

Daria didn't say anything. She just went past the two idiots and gave a smug smiled once she had her back at them. This was going to be fun.

**The Next Day**

Daria was sitting on the couch feeling pretty pleased with herself. When she told her parents that it was Beavis that had left all those dead critters their first reaction was to call his mom which was pretty fun considering who his mom was but when she told them she had invited him for dinner it created a scene so funny that not even Frank Capra could have directed it. At first they had tried to talk her out of it, saying that dating a guy with such obvious problems could not end well but Daria argued that Beavis was just a little bit odd (which wasn't a complete lie) and that she really liked him (that was half true).

Quinn walked up to her. "Can you please reconsider having that dirt boy over here?" she pleaded.

Daria looked at the clock. "It's a bit too late to ask that don't you think"?

"What! I asked the second you told me" Quinn loudly pointed out.

Daria just shrugged and didn't care to respond.

"You don't even like him, you just does this to annoy me" Quinn sighed.

"Listen its simple Quinn, You date guys for their looks. I date guys for their ability to pester you. It's a 100% percent legit". Daria sarcastically argued.

Quinn snorted and stormed off. The doorbell rang.

"That must be Beavis. I'll take it" Daria said and went to the door.

She opened the door and saw Beavis. Instead of his Metallica shirt & grey shorts he had a blue sweater and black jeans. He had his usual happy grin (actually it might be a bit wider).

"Beavis what are you wearing"? Daria sighed.

"Um, clothes" Beavis responded.

"Beavis it's just dinner with my parents. Does it look like I am dressed for some important occasion?" Daria said, hoping Beavis would get that this isn't anything serious.

"No, you look hot" Beavis responded to her hypothetical question.

The compliment surprised Daria and she blushed a bit.

Helen came up to them. "You must be Beavis. Nice meeting you" she said with false sincerity.

"Um, hey how's it going" Beavis greeted.

"Just fine" Helen responded tensely. Daria picked up on it and smiled. Her mother was already nervous but she knew there was little to be nervous about.

Daria & Helen lead Beavis to the kitchen. Jake and Quinn were already sitting down at the table. Quinn looked at him with spite and Jake looked like he was sitting on a bomb. This went over Beavis head but Daria enjoyed the stares and grabbed Beavis by the hand before directing him to his seat.

Daria's dad had made chili-concarne with pasta which fitted Beavis perfectly. He shoveled it into his jaw and chewed with open mouth as he always does. Pieces of beans and pasta hit the table. Whatever feelings Daria's family already had they intensified.

"Um Beavis, can you try to chew with your mouth closed?" Helen asked nicely.

Beavis swallowed. "Sorry".

"It's not his fault. He has a malformed jawbone" Daria argued uninterested.

Beavis giggled his usual giggle. "And a breathing disorder" Daria added.

Whatever her reasons Beavis appreciating her coming to his defense.

Quinn shot angry glares at Beavis and then at Daria that smiled back at her.

"Say Beavis, I am all for you showing you're um, interests in my daughter but…can you do it in a more um, traditional way?" Jake said to Beavis nervously.

Beavis looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"He means that leaving dead rats on the doormat is gross" Quinn snapped.

"I think what Quinn means is that maybe you should found another way to your appreciation for Daria. Like…writing cards to her" Helen said, trying to stop Quinn from insulting their guess.

"Cant, I am illiterate" Beavis responded.

"Maybe, flowers" Jake suggested.

"No way, that's lame" Beavis responded aggravated.

A sigh went thru the family and Daria looked more pleased than ever.

When they had all finished Daria looked at her wrist watch. "Hey, Sick Sad World is on can I watch it in the living room?"

"Daria, you have a guest here maybe you should entertain him" Helen exclaimed.

"Um, right." Daria stood up. "Beavis do you want to watch Sick Sad World"?

"Sure" Beavis happily responded with some chili running down his mouth.

Daria sighed. This was the frustrating part of her plan. She had to spend time alone with Beavis which obviously would be tiring. She decided to take one more stab at scaring her parents. She went up to Beavis and swabbed his mouth with a napkin and kissed him on the cheek. She hoped this would cement the illusion of love too her parents.

The couple sat down on the couch and Daria sat on the TV.

"The world's greatest wheelbarrow team, CONJOINED STOMACH TWIN tonight on Sick Sad World"! The narrator proclaimed with a picture of a man with a twin attached to his stomach on the TV.

The two watched the show for over an hour. To Daria's surprise Beavis presence didn't bother her. Quite the opposite actually, Beavis (like her) was filled with small hilarious comments on what was happening on screen.

Quinn walked up to her with a spiteful expression. Daria saw her and she could certainly see Quinn had something on her mind. In order to annoy her Daria hugged Beavis arm. The blond boy purred at the touch. Quinn sighed at the sight and went away to Daria's pleasure.

The show ended and Daria looked over at her date. "So, ready to go home"?

"No, I want to see your room" Beavis exclaimed.

Daria grin irritated but than she thought that the guy had earned at least that much. As much as she wanted to deny it she had enjoyed herself this evening and much of it was because of Beavis.

As they went up the stairs Daria stoped to listen to her parents arguing in the kitchen.

"I don't want Daria to be dating that boy. I think there's something very wrong with him" Helen argued.

"Maybe it won't be so bad" Jake responded, trying to avoid a confrontation.

Daria smirked and followed Beavis to her room.

Beavis looked around a bit but there wasn't much to see, just your standard teenage room. He stared at a shelf with a bunch of DVDs and he started to go thru them. Most of them were titles he never heard of by foreign directors like Akira Kurosawa, Giuseppe Tornatore, Ingmar Bergman, Louis Malle among others.

"These suck" Beavis proclaimed.

Daria sat down on her bed. "And I that took you for a film buff" she said sarcastically.

Beavis saw a plastic box filled with CDs. He picked it up and put it on Daria's writing desk.

He started to pick them up and looked at the covers. "Wow, these are really cool" he enthusiastically proclaimed.

"Really" Daria said surprised while raising an eyebrow. She knew he liked rock but she did not think he would like her kind of rock music.

"Yah, I love these bands. Shinedown and Three Days of Grace and wow…" Beavis hold up a particular CD and studied it closely. "Tool, sweet"!

"Wait, you like Tool"? Daria asked almost chuckling.

"Yah, I love them! Not as much as Metallica but still. Can I put it on"?

Daria shrugged. "Okay".

Beavis put the disc into the CD player and it started playing AEnima. Almost immediately Beavis started to shake his head up and down and kicking out with one leg in an unsynchronized pattern. Daria just continued to sit still and occasionally tapped her foot.

Beavis noticed this and clicked to the next song that was Forty Six & 2 and turned to Daria. "Why aren't you dancing"?

"Um, I don't really like to dance; I just like to listen to the lyrics".

Beavis scratched his head. He really wanted to share the experience with Daria as much as possible. "Okay, I guess I could do that" He exclaimed and sat down on her bed with his back leaned against the wall.

Daria started to remember all those idiots her sister had brought over and how she would snuggle with them if they managed not to piss her off. It wasn't exactly something she ever imagined herself to do but at the same time she wanted to show gratitude to the blond and if they were on a date they could at least do it right. She sat down in-between Beavis legs and leaned her back against his stomach and chest. Beavis started to shake nervously but as anyone knows a Tool song is long and after a minute he calmed down. He put his arm around her midsection and pushed her just a little bit closer. Daria didn't mind. Beavis was a lot gentler than she thought, besides, she could always kick his ass in case he got any other ideas.

She was incredible pleased over how her plan had gone down. She hadn't had to deal with the duo for an entire day, her parents were freaked out, her sister was none the wiser, and here she lay comfortable in the arms of a guy that admired her (the music didn't fit but who cared). That thought made her think of something.

"Beavis, why did you want to go on a date with me"? She asked, expecting a stupid answer.

"I told you. I like you" he answered.

"Yah, but why"?

"Cause your cool. It's like you always stand up for yourself, your smart, you're hot and fun to talk too" Beavis explained.

That was deeper that Daria had expected but she still only hum and decided to drop the subject.

The two listen to a few more Tool songs before it was time for Beavis to go.

Beavis stood outside the exit door while Daria stood at the doorstep to say goodbye.

"So Daria, will you follow me home?" Beavis asked, ending with his signature giggle.

"Um, no, not really" Daria responded with disinterest.

"But I am afraid of the dark" Beavis lied.

"Lucky for you there's a lot of streetlights" Daria retorted.

Beavis looked down at the ground with a sheepish smile and hold his hands behind his back. "I really had fun today".

In that moment Daria thought he was kind of cute. "Well I guess I too had…"

Daria sentence was cut short by Beavis lips pressing against hers and his hands grasping her wrists. He was kissing her. Daria's eyes widen and her head was slightly pushed back by Beavis surprising action. What was even more surprising to her was that she actually enjoyed hit. Whatever hormone his kiss had sent off inside of her body it titillated her mind. She closed her eyes and returned some of the pressure Beavis had given her.

Both ended the kiss simultaneously and stared at each other. Beavis was overwhelmed with happiness but Daria was just confused over what had just happened. The details of the situation started falling into place for her and the realization turned her confused expression into a shocked frown.

"Oh, crap!"

**I guess many of you wonder how Beavis & Daria know about Shinedown, a band from the 21 century when the show took place during 90s.**

**Really, nobody? Okay I won't explain then. **

**I welcome all kinds of reviews, comments & criticisms :) **


	3. Mom & Dad

**In this short story Beavis & Daria has been married for a long time and they have a 4 year old daughter named Amy.**

Daria was sitting on the floor with her daughter in front of her. In front of Amy was a set of fit the blocks. Amy tried to fit the blocks into the right hole. Daria tried to figure out if Amy would have the same mental disadvantages as her dear father Beavis. She would love her either way but she felt it was better to figure out that early so that she could make the right preparations. So far it didn't look that way thou. Amy very much took after her mother. She was pretty smart and curious for her age. She learned new words very fast.

Amy put the star shaped block into the star shaped hole.

"Very good, it took me a week to teach your dad that" Daria complimented her.

Beavis was sitting on the couch looking at the television. "Hey, it wasn't my fault. I had curpeltonicsyndrom that week" he replied.

Beavis was watching a Justin Bieber music video on MTV. "You know Daria I have heard that kids take after what they see on TV. Should I stop her from watching this"?

Daria stood up and leaned against the couch. "I don't really prescribe to that theory but I still don't think we should let her watch it" Daria said with a smirk.

"Yah because it sucks" Beavis said. Both giggled.

"Maybe you should stop watching it too; you have been watching this since you were 16."

"So I have done a lot of things since I was 16. Breathing, drinking, eating" Beavis replied. "The only difference is that my partner is hotter now."

Daria gave Beavis a confident smirk. She loved that after all these years he could still flirt with her. She had found out that the rumor of romance disappearing after marriage was incredible false.

Their ogling was interrupted by their daughters crying and screaming. Beavis looked over concerned and Daria went over and picked her up.

"What is it sweetie"?

Her daughter hold up her hand and Daria grabbed it, studying it closely. She saw a splinter in her daughter's middle finger (probably from the block) and took her to the kitchen still crying.

She sat her on the draining board while she opened a drawer. She took out a nipper and grabbed Amy´s hand. Amy tried to retreat her hand from her mother's grip. Daria grabbed her again. "I know it hurts Amy but this will only take a second".

Amy retracted her hand once again but Daria grabbed rather forcefully. Amy started screaming.

"You need some help in their" Beavis shouted from the living room.

"No, it's okay" Daria responded. She managed to pull the splinter out of her finger and wrap a small banded around it. Her daughter was still crying and screaming. She lifted her up and hugged her tightly.

Daria had never liked children, she still didn't but it was different with Amy. She was the star of her life and she would do anything for her. Even at her most annoying Daria didn't mind having her around (kind of like someone else she was living with).

Amy continued shouting and crying but Daria knew how to fix it. She walked out to the living room unto Beavis. "I think she misses her dad".

Beavis took Amy from his wife and sat her down in his lap. He shacked his leg while holding her hands and giggling a bit. Amy stopped crying and smiled up at her dad. Beavis smiled back. Ever since he first saw her in the delivery room a certain instinct of his had been running around the clock, to tend to his daughters every need. It had been the same with Daria after they started living together.

Amy started touching Beavis face. She grabbed his lower lip and started pulling.

Daria sat down on the couch next to Amy. "Yes honey those are called lips".

"Lips" Amy said, mimicking her mother.

"Yes" Daria nodded. "And do you know what mom likes to do with those lips"?

Daria bent forward and gave Beavis a long hard kiss.

After the kiss Beavis giggled a bit. "I guess I should start dinner".

Beavis went to the kitchen and Daria took Amy to her play corner before going to her office.

Beavis was making mash potato and meatballs.

"Die! Die" Beavis shouted as he pounded the potato while the meatballs fried in the steak pan.

15 minutes later all three were gathered around the table to eat. Daria hand cut Amy's meatballs into small pieces and held ketchup on the potato.

Amy ate one of the meatballs. "bla, this sucks" she said and giggled.

"Wow look, she is taking after me. Her old man, yes" Beavis proclaimed exited.

Daria gave them a confused expression. She eased up to a smile. "That's how the gene pool goes".

**Later that Night**

Beavis had just put Amy to bed. "Sleep tight honey" he said as he walked out of the room. He went to the kitchen and took out a Busch can out of the fridge before walking up the stairs again.

Daria lied in bed and read a book when Beavis walked in. One he sat down on the bed Beavis handed him his medicine. "Thanks" he said and swallowed it with his beer.

The medicine was for his ADD and his MPD and they really did work. Once Daria had started dating him it wasn't long until she forced him to go to a doctor that had diagnosed him with various mental conditions, thankfully nothing severe. He trusted her with his meds. He would only forget it.

Beavis saw Amy standing outside the bedroom door. "Hey look its Amy".

Daria put away her book and looked at her. "What is it sweetie"?

"I am thirsty. Can I have a glass of juice"? She asked rather shy.

"Sure. Go back to your room and I'll bring it to you" Daria said.

Amy skipped back to her room. Daria looked after her before turning to her husband drinking his nonalcoholic beer.

"Do you want another one"? She asked happily.

"Another beer? Yes, thank you".

"I wasn't talking about beer" she said seductively and kissed his cheek.

"Uuuuuuuu" Beavis purred.

**I wrote this when I was bored and out of ideas so I apologize if it isn't A-material but hopefully someone will like it. **


	4. Smile

**Smile**

**Beavis & Daria are brought together by random incidents and they find out that they are in a sense soulmates. A short story about comfort & potensial love. **

The time was 5:00 in the morning and against all normality Daria was out walking. Why?

She couldnt sleep. She had tried for hours but it just made her more annoyed so she decided to take a walk, hoping it would make her tiered. What had made her wake up was a nightmare that she couldnt get out of her head. She was an old woman, she saw her parents graves and lived all alone in a house. She didnt know what was worst about it, that she was alone or that she still lived in Highland. She was a loner, she was at peace with that but being a loner until she was old made her feel, well, lonely. Thinking back on the dream made her feel empty, deeprest.

Beavis involentarily jerked his head up and down. When he looked around he saw he was outside the Maxi-Mart. He went up to the door and pulled it to notice that it was closed. He felt a pain coming from his forehead and put his hand on the swollen area. He heard footsteeps coming towards him and instinctively hide behind the wall. He saw that it was Daria with her head held low. Beavis was no expert on people but he could recognise when somebody was down in the dumps.

Daria started to feel tiered but it wasnt that sleepy tierdness she wanted, she felt more beaten up. There was a small bench outside the store. She sat down and gave out a deep sigh.

"Hey, how is it going"? Beavis asked in usual manner.

Daria looked up at him. "Beavis, what are you doing here"?

"Um, I dont know. I remember drinking some black coffe and than nothing" Beavis responded.

"Hmm, cornholio" Daria noted, understanding what had happened.

"Um, what"? Beavis question.

"Nothing" Daria said and turned her head away from him.

"Well, what do you here"? He asked bluntly.

Daria sighed and figured she could just as well be polite since the blond havent really done anything to annoy her, yet. "I took a walk" she replied short.

"Really, okay. You look kind of, I dont know, deeprest or something" he said.

She raised an eyebrow at him. She studied that stupid expression of him. She would certainly not tell him about her feelings, she could just as well tell him about parliament politics and he would be just as wise.

Daria shuckled dryly before letting out a sigh. "Beavis, sometimes I'm jealous off you".

"Huh, really" Beavis giggled.

"Yha, You always have Butt-head for company even if he is a complete ass-hole" Daria said.

"Yha, bung-hole" Beavis giggled.

Daria shuckled a bit. "You know, I think you are my complete opposite".

"Um, what"? Beavis asked confussed.

"You always look happy" Daria said.

"O, I see what you mean, yha. Its like I am always happy and you are always misserable" Beavis explained, thinking he understood.

Daria frowned angirly at him. She hated whenever somebody called her misserable.

"I AM NOT MISSERABLE" Daria shouted. "I just dont smile unless I have a reason too" she added after noticing her emotional outbreak.

She stood up and motioned to go away when Beavis stopped her. "Wait, Daria. I understand what you mean" he exclaimed.

Daria turned around and gave him a puzzled expression. "You do"?

"Yha, its like you dont smile but that dosent mean your not happy and like, people always assume your miserable couse you look misserable but your not misserable and people shouldnt give a damn whats going on in your mind" Beavis rambled somewhat aggrevated.

Daria was lost for words. He understood. He, Beavis the retard understood one of the main things people so often got wrong about her (even if it was somewhat bluntly). "Wow, you understand."

"Yha, I understand perfectly, see. People often think I am happy becouse I always laugh but I dont mean to laugh". Beavis explained.

Daria han always suspected that Beavis & Butt-heads laughters are breathing disorders, like if something was wrong with their throats or lungs but she had never contemplated what problems this would give them socially...or medicaly for that matter.

"Its like, people always mess with me and they think its okay becouse I laugh but its not" Beavis exclaimed.

Daria looked sympathetic at him. She took a few steps towards him and wrapped her arms around his back. She burrowed her head in his chest. She absorbed his bodyheat and felt the softness of his body.

Beavis was starteled at first of her action but soon find that he liked it. Her soft body pressed so tenderly against his sended chills across his skinn. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and made a sound that sounded like a mix between a purr & a giggle.

They stood like that for a couple of minnutes.

"Daria" Beavis spoke.

Daria turned her head a little bit as to not to mumble. "Yha".

"I like this" Beavis said.

Daria broke apart from the hug and looked at him. "Me too" she said and shot him a warm smile.

"Look, you are smiling" Beavis pointed out.

"I know, I felt like it" Daria replied and the two hugged each other again.

**Okay, this was my first atempt writing using OpenOffice Writer, hopefully it worked out. Any review/comment is greatly appreaciated. **


	5. Relationship Counselling

Relationship Counselling

**Beavis & Daria has been together for over a year at this point. Daria has asked him to help her answering that some relationship/romance questions her subscribers have sent her. Ps. Daria's subscribers are not very smart.**

Daria activates the recording camera. She & her boyfriend Beavis sits in her room on her bed. Daria has printed out all the questions. She starts reading.

_Dear Daria & Beavis. I live in a small town (name & location is not important). I am desperate for a boyfriend but all the guys in my town are either stupid, ugly or hates me. What am I going to do?_

Daria: My advice is acclimate yourself to how bad life is. Just look at my boyfriend. He is ugly, annoying, idiotic, he has a penis the size of a golf peg and to top it all of he is a jerk but he is the greatest guy I know.

Beavis: Yah, hehehe. I am like the best of a bad situation, hehehe.

_Dear Daria. I broke up with my boyfriend after a rather long relationship. I confessed that I cheated on him when he didn't want to have sex with me which is why we broke up. I have asked him to take me back but he says he wants more time to think. What can I do to make him take me back?_

Beavis: You mean this guy didn't want to give it to you when you asked for it? Wow, did you dodge a bullet. When my girlfriend asks for it I give it to her, yah.

Daria: I never do ask for it Beavis. Ok, here is the hard truth honey. He don't want you anymore and the only reason he is telling you there is a chance is because he wants that option on the table. Forget him.

_Dear Daria & Beavis. I am a devout Buddhist and my boyfriend is a scientologist and I haven't told him this yet. I am afraid that he might leave me if I tell him about my religious beliefs. What should I do?_

Daria: Beavis, do you know what a Buddhist is?

Beavis: Um, no.

Daria: Do you know what a scientologist is?

Beavis: Um, let's see. Uh, no.

Daria: You see. There really is no problems with having different perceptions of reality. My boyfriend barely has one and if your boyfriend goes crazy over it then he wasn't right for you.

_Dear Daria/Beavis. What is your opinion on Polygamous relationships?_

Daria: I see no problems with it. It's the norm in a lot of cultures.

Beavis: Really! Then is it okay if I ask Kimberly to have a three-way with us?

Daria: I have to say yes because I already know what she will answer.

_Dear Daria. Can I plz have Beavis? I love him so much._

Beavis: Wow, this chick really wants me.

Daria: Please take him from me!

_Dear Daria and Beavis. I accidentally made my girlfriend pregnant. I am not ready to be a dad and I am scared that she might keep the baby. What should I do?_

Daria: Sorry to say this but the boat has already set sail, there's really nothing you can do if she wants to keep it except maybe…leave the country.

Beavis: At least you could ask her to let you name the baby. Name him something cool like Butt-head or Bones, hehehe.

_Dear Daria. My girlfriend is not attractive to me anymore, she has become too fat for me. Any suggestions?_

Daria: What a thoughtful intelligent question.

Beavis: I don't know, personally I like them with a little meat on the bone. Send her my way.

Daria: My suggestion to you is to build a death ray that turns people really fat. Shoot everyone in your town with it and soon your girlfriend will look thin in comparison.

_Dear Daria & Beavis. When will you two get married? I think you are a really cute couple._

Daria: I will marry Beavis the day I can't list his good attributes on my fingers.

Beavis: Daria, I am getting tiered of you insulting me in this video.

Daria: Don't worry, you know I love you (kisses Beavis).

Beavis: Thanks Daria, I love you too. So when do you want to get married?

Daria: Ugh.

_Dear Daria x Beavis. I am cheating on five different girls right now and its getting hard to find time to date all of them. What should I do?_

Beavis: Just get a freaking calendar already. Hehehe.

Daria: Or you could take several of them on one date. You spare a lot of time that way.

_Hello Daria and Hello Beavis. I have been emailing with a guy for a few weeks now and are planning to ask him for a date but I am nervous he isn't like I think he is? Any advice? _

Daria: Don't worry. Just over 2% of all guys are serial killers so don't worry about that.

Beavis: Yah, plus most guys on the internet are looking for chicks so don't worry to disappoint him.

_Dear Daria & Beavis. I have a question for the both of you. How was it like kissing each other for the first time?_

Beavis: Like fire, fire.

Daria: Like I was floating in the air. Like time stood still and there was only him and me.

Beavis: Awwww(kisses Daria).

_Dear Daria. What is your opinion on abortion?_

Beavis: Yah, I wonder that too? Couse like, my mom have told me several times she wished she had an abortion so I wonder what that is?

Daria: Um…let's take the next question.

Beavis: Hehehe, yah.

_Hey Daria! I have just gotten out of the closet for the first time and my parents have shown more distaste for me than usual. What can I do to make them love me again?_

Beavis: So, was this guy born in the closet or did he get into it later?

Daria: That's one of science great questions Beavis. As for your parents' dear subscriber there's nothing you can do. Either they will comes to terms with it or they were just bad parents to begin with.

_Dear Beavis & Daria. What is the perfect place for a date?_

Beavis: A strip club. No wait, a burning strip club! Yah.

Daria: At a funeral service.

_Dear Daria and Beavis. What is your favourite love story?_

Daria: Bonnie & Clyde. It reminds me it will soon be over.

Beavis: The Milkman Only Comes Twice.

_Dear Daria can you break up with Beavis so we can get together?_

Daria: Sorry, professional ethics prevent me to date my subscribers.

Beavis: Yah, and if you come near her I'll kick your ass!

_Dear Daria. I am in love with this girl but I am too scared to ask her out. What should I do?_

Butt-head: What a wuss.

Daria: Butt-head, what are you doing here?

Butt-head: Answering questions diarrhea.

Beavis: Well, get out. We don't need your stupid answers bunghole.

Butt-head: Ok, geez (leaves the room).

Beavis: Where were we? O yah, this guy is a wuss. Hehehe.

Daria: Yah totally. What a wuss.

_Dear Daria & Beavis. My boyfriend keeps looking at other girls and it drives me nuts. What can I do to make him stop?_

Beavis: Become a nudist and always walk in front of him.

Daria: Stab his eyes out. It's the only solution.

_Hey Daria x Beavis. What does Mike Judge think of your relationship?_

Beavis: Who the hell is Mike Judge?

Daria: I think he directed that movie Idiocracy.

Beavis: Sounds like a loser to me.

_Dear Daria. I want to break up with my girlfriend. What is the best way to break up in your opinion? Thank you._

Beavis: Just be yourself. That always works for me to keep the chicks away.

Daria: The expert has spoken. 

_Dear Daria. Can't you & Beavis do a porno for your website? I would love to see that! Thanks._

Beavis: Yah Daria. I have asked you to do a porno for over a year now. Why don't we do it? Hehehe.

Daria: Because for one thing we have never had sex Beavis.

Beavis: Well that's the perfect excuse to make a porno. We can do it for the first time on camera on your bed (hugs & kisses Daria). Just you and me… and the entire internet watching.

Daria: (blushing) This video is over.

Daria turns the camera off.

THE END!

**Author's Note:**

**So after something as "deep" as Smile I do something lazy like this! Well, it was fun to write anyway. Don't worry, I usually don't write my stories like this. I just felt it was more effective for this kind of story. **

**Please review my story, I need it! I need it! **


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